#59

Dear Terry,

I wish there was some way i could tell you how i feel right now, but then again... i'm afraid to. Sometimes i wonder if you really mean the things you say. I may not show it, but it really does hurt me.

Like how i've always regarded you, you're the brother i never had. Every time i tell my friends about you, i put in a good word for you. And i dont do it because im sucking up in any way, but i say it because i truly mean it. When i tell them that you're like a brother to me, i'm so proud of saying it. I really am lucky to have met someone like you, and you mean so much to me.

I know i've disappointed you many times before, and we've had our fair share of arguments. Its true that i'm really screwed up.
You've always saved me when i was in trouble, always lectured me when needed, always keeping me company when i was bored and rotting.
You used to show me care and concern... what happened now?

Now its seems like you don't really care what i do anymore.

I miss the Terry i once knew. The one who would text me with smiley faces. The one who reassured me that you'd look out for me no matter what. The one whom I could tell everything to. The one whom i'd seek advice from. The one who gave a damn about what i do. The one i nicknamed TerryBerry.

I miss you Terry, i really do.

I dont know how things changed. Maybe its my fault...

I'm sad. No, more like majorly crushed. You have no idea how important you are to me. I keep thinking that maybe you're just sick and tired of me.

Do you say things jokingly thinking that i'm strong enough to know you're kidding, or do you say things that you really mean knowing that it'll bring me down?
You built some confidence in me. But when you say things which aren't nice, it brings me way down, cuz afterall you're the one telling it to me. You made that part of me, and you have the power to break it too.

I dont know what to think anymore..

Just want you to know that I would never trade our friendship for the world.
I pray that things would go back to how it used to be...

I love you Bro, always have, always will.


Love,
Sara